ii realli damn exhausted now...y'trdae slept at 5.30am but now 8.30am ady woke up jorhh:-0 ii just nap for 3 hours onli!!!! wabiang...even ii want sleep back again now oso cannot lorhh~hmm...iis ady abt 3 weeks,ii stil can't get over it andd almost evrynite ii oso can't sleep well..myy mind duno y wil stil suddenly full thinking of him!!!!

realli difficult tuh forget andd get over him...he had left a huge andd deep footprints in myy heart~it seems tat ii stil need a lot of times..but anyway,ii wil try myy best~ii wil be strong andd strength!!!

hmm...2dae so lazy tuh go out..so ii decide wil slack at home whole dae ..long time din doing myy revision liaoO~ii should pay myy full attention on myy study now ady...nxt mth maybe wil sit for exam..so ii must go through myy homeworks liaoO....

damn tired 2dae~~

y'strdae went out wif myy god sis andd her frens until late nite jz reach home..hmm..after bck home stil received a call from him again:-0 at da end make miie until 4am jz can slept..andd 2dae 6.30am ii almost cannot open myy eyes lorhh..so exhausted!!!!

aikss..no spirit now at all!!!maybe just nap a while last nite,myy eyes now realli wana closed up jorhh^^ although iis vyy vyy tired,but duno y recently ii oso can't sleep well de lorhh...mny mny things had happen...ii can't get over it lorhh:-0 so stress!!!

ii think iis time for miie tuh wake up andd move on ady...

as evryone told miie ii should move forward andd not back forward....

so ii will andd ii am doing it now~~

hope tat he can hapPi andd do his well oso:-0

early morning get a gd new from myy boss...finally...he decided tuh increase myy salary liaoO~~although not much,but ii stil feel hapPi lorhh...recently myy expenses realli high,money not enough tuh use lorhh:-) hmm..ii should cut down myy expenses jorhh^^ now financial crisis andd economic oso not well , ii must save more andd more money liaoO~~if not ii sure wil hv economic problem soon...lolx..

erhmm..act wana go tuh see doc after finish work de..but called clinic just now da nurse told miie tis 2 daes doc not in must wait until Sun jz got doc..idiot lorhh..myy gastric need tuh pain 2 more daes again..sianz!!!duno tis time wat happen tuh myy gastric lorhh..ate so much medicines ady oso can't recover de...maybe tat dae ii drank beers andd had irritate myy gastric barhh..aikss..realli regret lorhh..make miie so suffer now:-0

2dae quite mny paperworks need tuh do de...hmm..busy dae for miie..long time din like tat jorhh^^ duno should hapPi orr sad lorhh..hahasss..

later after finish work duno can go where lorhh..erhmm..recently realli dun wan slack at home..alone in a space just wil let miie think more only...stil plan andd thinking wana go where~

2dae ii take half dae leave..not feeling well at all!!myy gastric getting more andd more worst...even got ate medicine on time..but it seem no use for miie oso!!!aikss...jz went tuh c doc..doc told miie tat myy gastric was inflammated..if stil can't recover better go tuh hv a gastric scanning liaoO~aiksss..same problem again..OMG!!!how can like tat siah??realli hope tat ii can recover in tiz few daes.

jz reach office not long...

act wishing tat ii can take medical leave 2dae de..but not dare tuh take cause scare myy boss wil scolded miie lorhh..ii was just take leave andd came bck from hometown onli lorhh:-0 if ii take medical leave again,sure his face wil black colour de lorhh~~

hmm..so force tuh come working again...sianz...realli wish weekend can faster coming lorhh~~await myy off dae again....

realli feel lazy ady...

Damn!!!so suffer now lorhh:-)

myy gastric iis become more worst!!!andd myy femur was more painful den yesterdae nite...OMG!!now even sitting orr walking oso pain a lot!!damn!!ii realli hope tat ii can bck home now....realli sianz..stil gotta wait until 5.30pm jz can bck home~~alone in office realli a boring dae for miie:-0

act 2dae wana take medical leave,but early morning,myy colleague msg miie andd told miie tat she not feeling well andd wil take medical leave 2dae~~aikss...onli both of us in office..so even got wat happening,at least must hv one person come for working..so bo bian ii force tuh working 2dae lorhh:-0

now ii realli await da time knock off...

ii need more rest liaoO~~

feel exhausted 2dae.....

hii..all myy beloves~ii came bck from myy sweety hometown lurhh~~

aikss..same feeling again!!! "hao bu she de"come bck lerhh...duno y always bck home must wil like tat de lorhh~maybe ii realli miss myy hometown so much barhh^^ hopefully ii can bck myy hometown again asap lorhh:-0

2dae ii spent myy whole dae at JB..woke up at around 10 pluss andd went out after ii get myy change..hmm..go in JB alone again..realli stil hv a bit scare scare ...luckily custom not so crowded lorhh maybe 2dae iis weekdae barhh..act wana meet up wif myy god sis,but suddenly she msg miie tat she had injured her head while cleaning da house..so tat our gathering andd appointment force tuh cancel liaoO~~aikss..no place can go andd so lonely hanging around at JB city square lorhh..

ii slack at there abt 2 hours until no more shop ii can shop ady lorhh..realli feel so boring lorhh..so at da end ii decided called myy buddy-Amos andd asked him come out more earlier den usual..(he wil come out JB for pump petrol evry tues)..while waiting for him,ii go tuh Neway k-box singing 1st..hahasss...iis realli an enjoyable moment for miie..maybe for others ppl singing alone iis realli idiot,but for miie iis realli quite at ease de lorhh..at least ii can let off all myy depression~~

ii sang alone in da room until abt 4 pluss den myy buddy just came tuh join miie..erhmm..realli hate him a lot lorhh...chose those sadness song make miie cried out again:-o ..haiz..duno wat else tuh miie again~~tot ii wil cheers up more after myy holidaes but it seems tat no helpful at all *_*

after our sing session,we went tuh play bowling at Johor Jaya lorhh..b4 start our game,we went tuh food court wic located opposite da bowling centre tuh have our dinner 1st..erhmm..quite bad luck de myy gastric suddenly pain andd even ii ate medicine oso stil can't control it...damn it!!!but although realli pain,but ii stil persist tuh finish our games...

maybe myy gastric problem,ii can't get full score lorhh..ii onli earn a very low points lerhh..pai seh pai seh...andd da poor things iis ii stil fell down when ii threw da bowling lorhh...ii had injured myy femur lorhh~~damn it!!!realli so bad luck...at tat moment ii realli pain until can't woke up lorhh...almost wana cried out jorhh^^ iis realli badly injured!!!myy thigh has a big blue black ady...now even sitting,walking orr lying oso cannot lerhh..realli painful!!!

ii realli duno how tuh sleep 2dae liaoO..gastric + femur pain...duno need tuh use wic method jz can sleep..haiz...ii realli so careless!!!make myself now feel so suffer....wana take medical leave 2molo jorhh^^

* note: thx myy buddy successful get miie da piglet orhh~~hahass..realli feel hapPi lorhh..cause iis very difficult jz can get it one..

today is my 3rd sister's wedding big day..hmm..after today she will not be single again and wil officially become Mrs Ong already..now all daughters in my mum and dad's heart only left me haven marry yet lorhh..hahass..duno when just will my turn lerhh..

hees..just joking larhh..siao siao merhh..I just noticed that I am already become single lorhh~not like last time got partner and can think marry this things..hmm..actually single also good lorhh..at least I always more prefer freedom..no need so xin ku gotta report to someone where ii go and need to ask for permission also...okielarhh..dun talk this things first..come back to the topic..that things next time ii just blog it barhh:-0

same as last time my 1st sis's wedding day,ii onli slept for two hours lorhh..myy house was so crowded with myy bro's frens andd relatives...so many people slack at my house drinking andd playing mahjong lorhh..suddenly myy house like a temporary casino lerhh..besides mahjong,stil have "black jack".."niu jia shui"...all gambling insides my house!!hmm..they all gambling until so fierce lorhh..all hundred above de..so jia lat..if lose realli will a damn amount lorhh..

although not enough sleep,but luckily ii stil can woke up on time..after taking myy bathe ii prepared tuh get change andd dolling up myself!!actually not much times for miie to make up,as ii stil need to fetch myy mum went market to buy somethings..haiz..so ii just make up anyhow..natural will be the prettiest one...hahass..somemore morning session not so important...also not so many people wil see me de..blablabla..(like ii am the bride lorhh ^_^ )

after that quickly prepared all the things which gonna trick the grooms & brothers with the rest of sisters..

wears underwear which got certain words behind it and strike a pose...

find the coins from the ice water..

each brothers must left their kiss ...

finally collect enough the kiss already..

tricky Q&A..hahass..not so difficult barhh??!!

hmm..took many photos lorhh...after tricky Q&A session..the groom finally get his bride..both of them damn hapPi de lorhh..see their face look so xin fu de..after praying,iis tea ceremony to bride's parents andd relatives..then just reached the time to take photo with groom andd bride..

after that next venue iis the groom's place for tea ceremony..

groom's myvi..cute bears as decoration:-0

as a sister,i also follow bride went to groom house for tea ceremony..at that meantime,i also become a temporary photographer~hahass..although not a proffesional photographer,but all the photos i taken also very nice one lorhh..*clap for myself *

after finish all the chinese traditional progress,home sweet home first before the wedding dinner start:-0

hmm..due to my tiredness,I direct slept like a pig when reached home..but it didn't had too much time for me to rest,so I only can take a nap about 2 hours..after I awake,I take my shower first..then follow my mum and sisters went to bridal shop wait the make up artist help us to make up...hmm..realli professional make up artist lorhh..she just used about 10-15 mins to make up and set up the hair for each persons..the results come out definitely is not bad and look nice larhh:-)

so soon is the time for the wedding dinner already..at first,my dad,mum and me went the restaurant first..cause we are the "zhu jia ren"..so need to went there early to serve all the guests..but it had somethings unhapPy things happen before the dinner start...I really dislike and unsatisfied about the service of that restaurant..still thought that new restaurant sure will have more good services but is realli so disappointed lorhh...the services at there is realli worst..when our guests were coming they still need to wait outside the restaurant..cause the waitress there haven tidy up all the tables..maybe before that got another wedding dinner also..so this maybe can forgive them..but when I asked somethings from them,they showed us their bad attitude lorhh..not only me complain my sisters..my relatives all also face same problems as me!!!really duno what kinds of services of it lorhh!!!somemore the dishes come out not really so nice..the fishes not enough cooked and half of it totally cannot eat lorhh...haiz..so so lowest standard...totally failed!!!

this is the first and will be the last time my family will go that restaurant..hmm..even next time got what wedding again,we sure won't choose this restaurant again!!

anyway,is already past!!!

I still sincerely wishing that my 3rd sister and brother-in-law a very very blissful marriage..

hope both of you 白头偕老、早生贵子~

wil back hometown later liaoO~hmm..duno y realli not feel hapPi at all de...maybe ii stil need some times tuh get over it barhh...anyway,ii hope myself realli can enjoy myy holidays~~

myy heart started felt strunggle again....

tiz few weeks myy mood realli up andd down de..hate all tiz kind of feelings lorhhh:-)

ii wana start myy new life now...everythings had stopped..all full stopped!!!

as myy fren said,a lost iis another gain~~

an ending iis a brand new start~~

ii must think positive towards myself..ii belief ii can do it..

ii sure can do it... Gambade tuh myself^^

hmmm..damn tired now!!!y'strdae totally can't hv a gd rest andd can't slept at all although ii was felt tired..aikss...duno wat's wrong wif miie again~myy mind so complicated nw!!myy frens asked miie wat's up tuh miie but ii oso can't gv them any answer...damn!!!hate myself lorhh...
ii lost myyself andd myy way at all~~

times flied so fast..iis already almost 3 weeks ..but da result stil da same...never changed!!!until 2dae ii stil can't accept da fact~iis realli cruel tuh miie!!!hurt....

2molo ii wil bck myy lovely hometown jorhh^^excited lorhh..but not feel hapPi at all da..feel emptiness...supposed plan tuh go KL 2gether 1st den jz bck myy hometown tuh attend myy sis wedding de lorhh..but end up jz left miie alone~haiz..realli regret we can't go 2gether...so gd chance oso no lucky tuh try it!!!

ii need tuh learn da dae without his companies...

ii need tuh learn be alone tuh complete myy life...

ii need tuh learn tuh keep him in myy deeply heart...but not in myy mind...

nothing can say!!!

jz let natures take its course barhh~

evrythings had over andd ii should let it stop at here liaoO...

no such things can ii cherish ady!!

ii realli dun wan bother so much....

ii had lost myyself andd myy way too~~

wat ii need iis onli..

walk out this relationship!!!

LOVES realli hurts.....

心真的好挣扎。。
明明放开了手为何还会承受酱的压力？？
我好痛苦~真的好痛苦！！
好不容易才硬硬逞强、坚强下去的。。
但为何你又要再出现打动我的心？？
我讨厌这种感觉！！真的很讨厌。。
不管是看见你、听到你的声音还是读到你的信息，
我的心顿时会立刻脆弱、无法坚强下去了。。。
不要令我酱难受了可以吗？？
我好辛苦。。真的！！
我也好想去面对你。。可是我知道我无法~~
因为我再也没有那股勇气了...
我没有资格再恋爱了！！！
我只想平平凡凡过我要的生活~
对不起。。对不起。。。
真的好想离开这片伤心地：-0

2dae myy course wil start liaoO..erhmm..ii need tuh settle myy moods ady...ii hope tat ii can pay full attention in myy study starting frm 2dae~ii dun want think too much abt myy relationships liaoO:-0

all jz lets natural take its course barhh^^

ii need times tuh heal evrythings..realli feel exhausted ady..ii hope tat myy holidaes wil faster coming lorhh..ii need holidae!!!!

stil hv four daes ii wil bck hometown liaoO~~hapPi..

damn tired 2dae..y'strdae went out jb again andd around 2am pluss jz reached home ..hmm..recently keep went out until late nite jz bck home lerhh..duno y..myy mood stil not realli feel gd de~so went out in da midnite timing can be more relax for miie..at least not too crowded of cars andd ppl..ii prefer silence recently...

can't slept well y'strdae too...sianz...2dae woke up at 10 pluss jorhh:-0

myy house now fully of kid's voices~aikss..ii disturb byy myy nieces andd newphews..OMG!!!they r vyy noisy lorhh..so headache...make miie totally can't hv a good rest....so force tuh woke up early liaoO~

nothing tuh do in da afternoon..so jz slack at home andd watching TV wif myy family~hahass..waste myy half off dae sitting in front da TV lorhh,lolx~myy homeoworks ii din touch anymore again lorhh..become damn lazy liaoO..

after tat,we went out tuh hv our dinner 2gether around 7 pluss..hmm..myy bro in law brought us tuh eat seafood wic a restaurant located nearby da khatib(opposite tuh Yishun stadium)..yummy..da seafood there realli nice lorhh:-) a word tuh descripe it--delicious!!!especially da chilli crabs andd cereal prawns lorhh..all da foods are so fresh~

act wana plan go tuh Orchard de,but those kids all keep crying wana back home sleeping jorhh..so we forced tuh cancelled our plan andd direct bck home after our dinner~~

hmm..eat so full 2dae~haiz..wana start keep fit again liaoO~

yeepee..so haPpi tat stil got a week ii can bck hometown ady..excited andd await lorhh:-O

last nite ii met wif him~finally we settle it peacefully liaoO...

realli thx tat euu respect miie andd din threaten miie anymore!!now ii realli dun wan think too much liao ~wat ii need andd wanted iis jz be single andd hv a freedom life..tats all!!!so apologise ii realli can't accept euu at this moment..maybe ii had lost myy confidence in loves..ii realli scare..ii scare ii wil be get hurt again~tat pain andd broken heart feelings iis realli suffer:-)ii dun wish tuh try this such feelings again..so...

we stil can be fren..maybe as fren iis more better den bcome couple~~so soli this iis not onli cruel tuh euu but oso miie lorhh...do euu noe ii use how long tuh force myself tuh accept it??do euu noe how pain m ii when euu left miie alone in da 1st time??do euu noe how difficult m ii tuh make this decision??but anyway,it's ady past!!both of us need times tuh calm down...so lets da time tuh heal anythings barhh^^

maybe all da things iis my fault~

*************************************************************

myy beloved mummy andd sis came here tuh visit us again...hahass...so hapPi tuh c them lorhh~~this time myy house fully of kid lorhh..myy 2nd sis oso brought her 2 children came..damn a long time din c them liaoO~~miss them so much...yeepee...later aft finish work can go shopping wif them jorhh..await da time coming...

sigh!!!myy flu hvn recover yet lorhh:-)
feel so sianz de..almost a week can't sleep well..hmm...can should be say iis totally not enough sleep lorhh~sleep 3 ~4 hours per dae...damn exhausted !!!myy mind stil keep thinking of him...aikss!!!

ii need tuh cheers up myself ady...nxt week start courses liaoO~~tiz two weeks break time ii din touch myy homeworks at all lorhh..sad!!duno y no mood tuh study..even ii am trying tuh do homeworks but myy mind andd heart can't pay full attention de lorhh:-0 ~sad lorhh...ii realli duno this time how can ii past myy exam wif flying colors liaoO..

wat's wrong with miie nia..?ii oso duno wat happen tuh myself...

recently mny things happen on miie..make miie feel so down andd no mood at all~but ii wil try myy best..ii believe ii can get over all...ii can do it....

hmmm..slept whole daes y'strdae after take myy medicine~~
realli damn tired now..all da bones in myy body stil ache..aikss..it seems tat ii hvn totally recover yet lorhh^^ suffer !!!for myy family & frens,dun worry abt miie..ii wil be strong andd take k myself de~~ii sure ii can get over him!! iis onli da matters of times...

tiz few daes realli feel soli tuh everybody who arounds miie..ii make euu all so worry andd anxious abt miie~~act ii am trying tuh bcome strong de..but duno y until now ii stil can't accept it!!ii hate this kind of feelings...realli damn!!

iis euu make miie so suffer now~~y must treat miie like tat??when ii try myy best tuh patch bck,euu jz left miie alone at playground andd go away without turn around at miie!!!tat time euu can treat miie so cruel,y not now cannot siah??wat iis da meaning orr point now euu come bck cry andd ask miie patch bck..?ii tel euu ii realli dislike it..when ii wana gv up andd get over euu,euu come tuh touch myy heart again!!!euu noe ii am a soft-hearted,so euu do like tat tuh make miie accept euu bck..?do euu noe euu realli selfish??! y euu nvr think wat iis myy feeling tat few daes ago...how ii live in ??how ii be strong tuh past it??

jz as euu say,outside mny gerl arhh..den euu go tuh find one lorhh...how come wana find miie bck..?euu ady hurt miie deeply!!!now ii sincerely told euu ii wish tuh be single andd wana hv myy freedom bck lorhh:-)ii dun wish tat euu wil come tuh disturb miie again...ii can told euu myy suffering andd hurting realli not less wic cause byy euu!!but ii told myself..if realli can't go ahead this relationship andd make euu realli so suffer,ii wil rather tuh gv up.. loves a person not onli wana him,but iis make sure him hapPily in his life!!! without hapPi wat else we 2gether again??

definitely,euu r da guy who maybe wil myy da lovest one in myy life...ii noe ii can't gv euu up..but ii wil trying~~as long as euu feel hapPi den okie ady...at least euu no need so suffer 2gether wif miie..ii not da perfect gerl..wat euu need ii can't do for euu..realli so regret..euu must promise miie tat euu must stay hapPily andd please dun do da foolish things orr act again okie??must take k urself when ii not besides euu anymore andd dun let person around euu worry abt euu...

although iis vyy vyy pain andd hurt now,but ii stil wil try tuh habit da dae without euu~~sigh!!hate tiz feeling bcome lonely~~but no choice...ii need tuh face it!!!gambade tuh myself...ii must strong...ii must strong...

2dae realli not feeling well lorhh:-)early morning vomit 2 times ady~sianz!!!
ii think ii was fell down with'flu'barhh^^tat dae walking under rains..maybe cause miie going tuh sick soon liaoO~~

haiz!!!sick iis realli a boring dae for miie...

now ii gotta tuh c doc liaoO andd bck home rest ady~~

update 2molo orhh^^

tata**

ii must be strong tuh face all of this!!!

thx all myy fren's concern andd caring~~

ii wil let da times tuh heal evrythings..

tuh cure myy broken heart...

evrythings has come tuh da end ady..

although realli pain andd hurt!!!!

but ii wil try myy best~~

ii wil a strong gerl forever!!!!

hopefully ii can realli walk out this relationship soon..

andd start a new life...

jz like ppl saying~~

love iis not just wana having him..

but iis make sure tat he live hapPily..

so ii should tuh gv up..

as long as he hapPi~~

I'm sick of crying..

tired of trying,yeah..

ii am smiling..but..

inside ii am dying~~

想到了痛，想不到如此的痛。。

一个人走迎着冬夜里的风，

忍住泪水、忍不住慢慢心碎。。

转身难回冬夜的雪陪我伤悲。。

买一杯醉买不来曾经的美~

独自面对冬夜浓浓的黑。。

不想伤悲却不能心如止水。。

爱情冬至最长的夜，

忘了我是谁！！

看着那窗外的雪，想着你。。

模糊的脸守着那漫长的夜。。

等着它慢慢变短。。

听着那幽怨的风，

触着我隐隐的痛，

陷入了爱情冬至心和泪慢慢的冷~

ii totally can't sleep last nite~damn hurt!!!

realli sad ...myy heart iis stil bleeding now...

at first ii tot ii wil be strong,

but at da last ii am tat person who iis da looser...

ii realli can't control myself...

ii nvr think tat our 2yrs,4mths&20daes relationship wil ended...

so regret we can't be longer...

so sad tat we realli walk until 'break' tiz way...

finally we have broke off..

ii lose euu,

ii lose evrythings..

da onli person ii truly cared left miie wif a broken heart..

ii din hv any chance can cherish it again~~

wat can ii do??ii realli duno..

myy mind was blank now:-)

myy tears was automatic rolling down tuh myy cheek..

it's realli hurt..

although ii noe ii should be strong...

but duno y ii can't learn it...ii am failure in this way!!!

myy heart so pain...damn!!

ii wan be strong!!ii wan be a strong gerl!!!!

hv a fanstactic saturdae in this week:-)

wake up very early 2dae lorhh..duno y cannot sleep back again liaoO...super sianz de..realli feel damn tired de but myy eyes totally cannot close up...how can like tat orhh..wat's wrong with miie again liaoO??ii oso duno...

whole half dae slack at home doing houseworks..so hardworking of miie lorhh:-0

around 7pm,ii went out wif myy buddy-Amos again:-)hahass..he brought miie went tuh Kallang Leisure Mall for ice-skating..so hapPi lorhh~~although ii duno how tuh skate but stil feel excited de..andd this iis myy first time learning ice-skating at here..feeling so good..not bad lorhh..

1st time skating realli feel so anxious andd scare lorhh..in a short 2 hours,ii fell down 4 times ady..realli so pain lorhh..especially myy knees..although now myy whole body was very pain andd fully of blue black ,but ii stil so enjoy myy self lorhh...long time realli din feel so hapPi jorhh^^ so regret tat 2dae ii stil can't skating alone..ii stil can't balancing myself in da ice..but ii stil need tuh thx a lot myy buddy recently oso keep accompny miie andd teaching miie so much..ii realli appreaciate...

after ice-skating,we went tuh eat our dinner at geylang ..erhmm..2nd time went tiz kind of place..after our dinner we went tuh east coast park again...hahass..myy favourite place lorhh:-)duno y lerhh when ii came here,i realli can feel vyy relax de lorhh..maybe can see da sea andd hear da sound of wave barhh^^make miie can temporary forget all myy unhapPiness,trouble andd vexes....we slack at there until 3 pluss jz left...

afterwards,we went tuh Sembawang Park ..it iis oso a nice place lorhh..at da opposite of sea,ii stil can see myy lovely country-M'sia JB lorhh..erhmm..suddenly make miie so miss myy hometown liaoO lorhh..stil need 3 weeks again ii jz can bck hometown:-)although iis ady quite late night jorhh but sembawang park stil hv a lots of ppl lorhh..some ppl stil camping at there lorhh^^we had our fun andd chit chat about 2 hours at there lorhh....cause da weather suddenly change andd raining unstopped de lorhh..

at da end bo bian we decide home sweet home liaoO...before went home,we went tuh having our supper at food court lorhh..hahass..act iis should be count as breakfast jorhh cause iis abt 5 pluss ady..erhmm..realli feel shiock lerhh..other persons were ready wake up jorhh but miie jz ready for sleeping lorhh...hahasss...

2dae realli a fanstactic + hapPi +enjoyable dae for miie lorhh:-)

should ii say we r patch again..??
orr iis should be say we totally din face the problems yet,so....nvr ??

ii realli vyy confusing tuh myyself...
when ii saw him...ii realli can't say out da words tat ii wana say!!
ii noe ii should discuss all da things wif him..ii should tel da problems tuh him...
ii should ask him tuh solve it 2gether....
but y when ii face tuh him,ii can't totally say out a word lorhh~~
ii seems like not brave tuh face him lerhh:-)

y???ii oso duno y..?
because ii m a soft-hearted..??orr ii not dare tuh hurt him..( a gd guy's heart)
can ii jz ignore it andd dun think so much regards tuh our problems..?
orr need tuh tel him wat myy mind thinking abt..?
ii am realli strunggle now!!!feel so hard tuh make da decision lorhhh~~
ii am being crazy soon liaoO....!!!

continuosly a week ady din sleep well de:-)

realli damn exhausted..myy panda eyes come out again~~aikss...duno y recently wana hv a gd rest oso cannot lorhh..jz thinking..thinking..andd thinking!!!erhmm..realli hope tat myy thought can be more clearly now...it seems tat ii stil can't take any action orr decision although ii had think so mny daes ady~~duno should be sad orr disappointing lorhh:-)

wat's wrong wif miie again..?ii realli duno..damn!!!

ii realli hope tat ii can hv a holidae now~ii wana myself hv a relax dae...

waiting...

最近都连续下雨的。。好讨厌的咯！！每天下雨的时间都是靠近要放工的时候~唉！如果没带雨伞真的就要天天淋雨了。。。。好纳闷，现在老天爷又不作美了，天空又下起大雨来了~这个时候下起倾盆大雨真的令得我有点昏昏欲睡了。。。好悃的！！如果现在有张大床，那可多好！！我真的就可以呼呼入睡了~~

今天没什么东西做的。。又好无聊的一天~最近公司生意真的超差的，一整天一个顾客电话也没有~~唉！！！开始担心了。。是因为金融风暴的关系吗？？而导致如此？？还是景气不好，竞争大？？真希望酱的日子不会再继续下去。。要不然我可要担心我的年尾花红了~~

唉！！这几天都心事重重的。。我和他已经是进入第三天的冷战日子了~~不知干嘛的心好挣扎，好烦奥哦！！我的选择该要如何呢？才不会使我自己后悔。。？才不会令自己那么痛苦？？是该去接受他那无理过分的要求？该去改变自己变成另一个使他满意欲望的那个人。。？还是选择放弃告别这一切。。?

好烦。。真得很累了~~我不想再一直过酱的日子了：-）

damn tired 2dae...tiz few daes ii slept abt 4-5 hours per dae onli lorhh:-)make miie totally not enough sleep!!!andd it cause miie no appetite tuh eat anythings oso..so bad mood at all..maybe it oso because somethings had happen on miie..so tat ii realli not feel hapPi in tiz few daes..da feelings in myy heart so mix andd vexed de lorhh:-)

ii realli duno wat happen tuh myself de...actually stil tot tat ii am very clearly understand of myself who ii am..but...it seems tat ii am failure in this way!!!wat da hell of myself??!!ii duno...ii realli duno wat ii am thinking abt now!!!

ii onli noe tat ii realli care abt euu..so tat definitely ii wil care all urr words oso!!but y euu din understand miie.??ii duno tuh be sad orr disappointing lorhh...

who ii am in urr heart ii reali wish tuh noe...wil it change..??orr jz forever euu set miie like tat onli..??because euu ii realli gotta be crazy ady...!!please dun treat miie like tat,okie..?

2dae ii totally not enough sleep lorhh:-)jz now around 6am pluss jz reach home~~although damn tired de but felt hapPi...myy buddy-Amos accompny miie whole nite..brought miie tuh da place wic ii never went b4~~realli relax...myy modd oso feel more better when ii c da sea in east coast...

when reached home,after ii took a warm shower,ii direct sleep like a pigg jorhh^^sleep until so sweet lorhh cause maybe tiz few nites oso vyy late jz slept...erhmm..but 2dae ii onli slept 5 hours den wake up jorhh:-) duno y can't sleep more tight again liaoO...when ii awake received msg from myy buddy again..hahass..he scared miie can't wake up lorhh cause we plan tuh went out JB 2dae..so he responsibles tuh wake miie up...hmm...

now iis around 1 pluss jorhh..ii am stil waiting him come tuh fetch miie..he realli like ger lorhh..even miie oso finished prepared liaoO..stil told miie he was on da way jorhh..but until now stil hvn saw his car lorhh!!aikss...poor man!!jz stay opposite myy block marhh..motion so slow!!hahass...

ii wana enjoy myy off dae again~~need tuh relax myself liaoO:-)
hope tat 2dae wil hv a fantastic sundae again wif myy buddy^^

* note:now miie & him was in quarrel period again~feel so exhausted jorhh..

ii realli feel hapPi tiz two daes...thx for myy colleagues andd fren who help miie tuh celebrate myy birthdae~~ii realli appreaciate andd felt so touched!!!ii realli had an unforgotten andd memorable birthdae because all of euu...

yesterdae ii stil tot tat ii wil be lonely..cause myy bbaobeii dearr got working andd can't accompny miie~but at da end,luckily ii stil got myy fren-Amos andd myy colleagues help miie celebrate myy big dae~~hahass..so hapPi andd touched lorhh:-)

at first ii met wif Amos first..we had our dinner 2gether at Vivocity Shi Shuan Stemboat Restaurant..warhh..iis realli a spicy stemboat lorhh:-)so luckily da steamboat can hv 2 types of soup..due tuh ii can't eat spicy so ii choose da seafood soup while he choose his favourite 'ma lat'soup...hahass..so funny things iis he always said he can eat spicy vyy well..but tiz time it seems tat he oso cannot tahan da spicy lorhh..lolx..his tears oso almost wana roll down ady..wakaka..

we enjoyed our dinner until da restaurant closed lorhh:-)realli 1st time ii am da last customer..warhh...a bit pai seh de lorhh cause like delayed their worker's times..aikss..all because Amos false lorhh..hahass..who asked him eat so slow worhh..

after tat,meet up wif myy collegues at jalan besar ktv...erhm...act not realli enjoy myyself at there..first time went tiz kind of place lorhh..realli not habit andd feel ill at ease~so tat ii slack at there abt 2 hours den went bck home liaoO...tuh all myy colleagues so soli ii am realli uncomfortable in tat place..so tat ii bck so early orhh..somemore got somebody was worry abt myy safety andd waited miie nearby da ktv...so ii not intend tuh let him wait so long!!!for Amos..so soli ii let euu wait so long andd din noticed tat euu so worry abt miie!!ii should learn more mature andd always protect myyself de..realli so so so so so sorry tuh let euu so anxious miie...!!!

ii reali feel so hapPi euu got so patient tuh wait miie tis sis..hahass..realli gd bro arhh..anyway,thx again tuh euu for accopmny miie whole 3 nites...ii realli appreaciate^^

tiz year ii realli hv a wonderful birthdae...cause got so mny ppl accompny miie tuh celebrate myy big daes~~