yeahh..last dae for year 2008 ady~realli vyy fast year 2008 iis going rundown soon andd year 2009 oso wil coming soon liaoO..hmm..a new year coming ii must try tuh forget all sad@bad things liaoO andd accomplish wat ii need andd wana achieve in 2009..hope tat a new year can bring more gd luck tuh miie..

Aikss..2nite duno go where tuh celebrate andd countdown lorhh~ii sure 2nite must hv mny party at everywhere around de lorhh..hmm..ii haven decide myy planning lorhh~gotta go tuh c fireworks but nobody wana accompny miie..majority of myy frens oso said Marina tat side wil vyy crowded andd they rather slack at home andd sleep lorhh..haiz..so sianz..any suggestion marhh??ii wana go a place tat can make miie realli enjoy andd hapPi de..

stil planning myy countdown nite....

hmm..hope everybody can realli enjoy urself in this special nite orhh~~

times realli flys so so fast lorhh:-0

2dae iis da last second dae for year 2008 ady~hmm..think bck wat ii had done for this whole year,haiz..it seems realli nth lorhh..hahasss..vyy failure rite??yarhh..maybe tiz year iis a realli unforgotten andd sadness year for miie barhh..no money..no hubby..no healthy..nth more in life now liaoO~~

haiz...duno y hv a funny feeling now lorhh..ii hope ii can getting marry soon lerhh~hahass..suddenly hv a strong feel wana hv myy own family andd starting myy new life wif myy new family~aiksss...ii noe iis realli a dream for miie now..maybe recently ii realli think too much liaoO~anyway,tat jz a funny feeling 2dae~

nth tuh do in office now..hahass..keep snapshot wif myy collegues andd hv a fun wif them~hmm..da photos wil upload soon cause ii forget tuh bring adapter liaoO..hehess..first time can hv a nice chit chat wif them~

later finish work hv appointment tuh do facial treatment andd massage again...recently myy skin look vyy bad liao lorhh..myy look totally can compare wif ghost liaoO..ii had a serious dark eye socket lorhh..hmm..realli need tuh sleep early..if not it wil become more serious again~

sigh!!!

窗外阴天了,音乐低声了..

我的心开始想你了~

灯光也暗了,音乐低声了..

口中的棉花糖也融化了~

窗外阴天了,人是无聊了..

我的心开始想你了:-o

电话响起了,你要说话了..

还以为你心里对我又想念了~

怎么你声音变得冷淡了??

是你变了、是你变了。。

灯光熄灭了，音乐静止了..

滴下的眼泪已停不住了...

天下起雨了,人是不快乐~

我的心真的受伤了。。。。

我的心真的受伤了。。。。

没风的午后,雨也停了，气氛真的好沉重。。我们安静的听着、心跳的节奏真的好快~谁都不开口，只是静静的聆听周围的声音。。关于爱，我们都不懂要如何？！向前走 还是退后？？试着找回当初那相爱的理由。。但那全都是借口罢了~相爱后，我们才发现彼此不同：-0 我已经失去拥抱的冲动了，真的好想放开手。。彼此爱过之后，我们才发现爱情过重了。。那种负荷不来的温柔已经渐渐失控了~只落在我们爱情的尽头~我只能沉默的、坚持着。。但我能维持多久？？我不晓得。。但我真的没有勇气去兑现那永远的承诺了~对不起。。。真的很抱歉，我过不了我自己的那关：-）

haiz...so bad lorhh~y'strdae whole dae not dare tuh eat anythings lorhh..had a serious vomiting andd diarrhea:-)sigh!!!!

hmm..y'strdae slept around 4pluss..andd 2dae woke up around 10am..now ii realli feel super tired lorhh..duno y lerhh wana sleep bck but ii can't lorhh~sianz..feel so emptiness now...myy mind andd thoughts so complicated de until myself oso can't catch it wat ii thinking abt....

ii realli duno how ii wil be in da continuos life~

am ii stil hv da courage tuh go through myy life??!!duno..ii realli hope tat ii can walk out myself..ii am trying myy vyy best ...but jz duno whether ii can be strong until where...

helpless.....

*anyway,thx myy frens who always support miie besides miie..ii realli appreaciate it..ii can feel all urr concern andd carings..THX!!!

最近的我心情都很糟透。。真的不知道为什么？！
我真的不晓得为何我会那么在意。。为什么会有酱的感觉。。
好伤心的~真的感觉我再次受伤了。。。
迷茫的生活~
我还可以坚持多久，还有多大的勇气去面对这一切？
我真的不晓得。。

hmm..so surprised tis year stil received a christmas present...thx a lot tuh euu yarhh^^ ii realli appreaciate it andd realli like it so much~

ferrero rocher chocolate..myy favourite~

piGgy PiggY..

love shapes chocolate..taste not bad lorhh:-0

nth special for myy christmas dae tiz year..whole dae slack at home rest onli...din go anywhere lorhh~maybe realli not feel so well barhh~so lazy andd no mood tuh go out enjoy lorhh..all da dae ii onli jz went out tuh myy opposite block tuh past a christmas present for him..aikss..he so piggy lorhh ii wait him abt an hour he jz awake lorhh~make miie feel sleepy oso while waiting him at his blck downstair~hmm..duno y feel upset when c his face..wat can ii do now iis onli can trying myy best tuh avoid myself tuh be close wif him again barhh.. ii must control myself not tuh fall in love tuh anyone liaoO~

haiz..act wana go cinema tuh watch "IP man" tiz show de...but asked myy frens all of them ady watch it..aikss..feel so sianz lorhh..maybe tiz sat jz go alone tuh watch it barhh...

await weekend coming~

* myy heart iis bleeding..nobody wil noe tat pain...

yeahh..Merry Christmas tuh evrybody~~

so fast christmas iis coming again liaoO..tiz year christmas ii wil remember it forever cause ii realli feel lonely lorhh..1st time in this special festival ii wil feel so unhapPi yeah..hmm..duno y mayb ii nvr trying before like tat barhh^^

y'strdae a lot of unhapPi things happen on miie lorhh...duno y recently quite damn bad luck de..all da bad bad things keep happening lorhh..haiz..it seems tat ii realli need tuh go temple praying liaoO:-)

act dun hv any mood went out tuh count down christmas on y'strdae de..but suddenly realli feel moody andd boring..so ii went out alone andd direct head tuh Orchard andd enjoy myself wif crowded ppl...although ii was too late liaoO,but ii stil enjoy it..at least saw those ppl played until so crazy,myy mood automatic felt more better andd totally won't think so much unhapPi things lorhh...

after countdown,ii went tuh clubbing wif myy ex-bf's brothers at Orchard Plaza..

hmm..long time din drink so much liaoO...haiz..ii always can't control myself when ii felt down de lorhh~maybe for miie,get drunk iis da best solutions barhh...ii noe myy bad habit-->like tuh think mch andd always be negative towards all!!!therefore,everytime ii face some unhapPi things ii wil get drunk myself first...tat iis myy way tuh avoid myself...lol

2dae bck home ard 4pluss early in da morning...haiz..get drunk badly lorhhh..once ii enter myy house,ii totally lying on sofa liaoO lorhh..first time wil like tat since ii came here more den 2 yrs jorhh^^

now ii had a bad headache lorhh...

woke up at 1 pluss but stil seems tat not enough for miie...maybe ii stil hvn wake up fully barhh..da alcohol stil inside myy body andd make miie feel quite blur now...

gotta take a nap again liaoO...

update 2molo orhh...

* ii cool down myself andd listening tuh myy heart,ii realli fall in love tuh euu ady...

firstly..hapPi birthdae tuh myy beloved 3rd sister...
evry yr ii oso vyy admire her lorhh..duno y cause ii think tat her birthdae fall in christmas eve realli vyy gd lorhh..at least wil hv mny ppl can celebrate 2gether..

hmm..times flied so fast lorhh~2dae iis christmas eve liaoO..it mean christmas iis come tuh corner soon lorhh..hahass..so hapPi 2molo wil be public holidae again..yeepee..no need working again..

hope tat ii can knock off now lorhh..

stil thinking later wana go where tuh count down christmas lorhh~

wish tuh hv a romantic christmas wif myy loves one,but it seems tat nobody can ii find lorhh~aikss..realli a lonely christmas year tuh miie...

ii think ii onli can celebrate wif myy frens liaoO..hope tat they are free andd can celebrate wif miie 2gether...

await 12am...

Mixed feelings~~

hate this kind of feelings lorhh:-0

since tat dae euu told miie those words....

myy hearts realli started feel down~

maybe ii too mind all da words euu had said tuh miie:-)

wat else can ii do now??

pls dun let miie alone okie??

2dae realli busy like hell lorhh~

so mny stocks came in...

now ady 3 pluss ii stil hvn take myy lunch andd breakfast lorhh:-0

haiz...feel so hungry liaoO~

suddenly think of him..sianz..myy mind now full of him lorhh:-)

duno y ii wil like tat..am ii fall wif him ady??

realli duno..better dun wan think so much..

lets natural take its course barhh^^

continuos myy work first..

erhmm..2dae iis 'dong zhi' lorhh..so ii woke up early in da morning liaoO~after wash myy face,ii started tuh cook tang yuan orhh...hahass..iis myy first time tuh cook lorhh~luckily da taste stil not bad,quite delicious de orhh..( ii din praise myyself but myy bro realli praise not bad..hahasss..hapPi~)

after tat ii went out JB again wif Amos..act tiz time wana went out tuh do eyebrows colouring..hmm..first time went out through by da new custom..haiz..iis realli gv miie a bad comment lorhh~duno y our malaysia government wil think those stupid things de..spend so much money ady stil can't build out a convenience custom for ppl tuh go through lorhh...realli disappointed..da new custom iis more worse den da old one lorhh~ii swear if PH orr weekend da traffic sure wil jammed badly lorhh:-0

we jammed abt an hour jz can reach JB lurhh..damn waste time!!!

when reach JB city square ii direct went tuh do da eyebrows...hmm..somethings unhapPi things happen btw miie andd Amos...ii realli feel soli andd hate myself lorhh...Amos,realli appologize ii show euu wif myy bad attitude..ii noe iis myy fault andd nth wrong tuh euu..realli feel sorry tuh make euu so angry orhh..tat time maybe ii too pissed off liaoO cause walk whole buiding mny times oso can't found euu lorhh..ii noe ii realli vyy rude tuh euu..hope tat euu realli can forgive miie orhh...sorry..ii swear ii won't do it again liaoO~forgive miie okie??

hmm..ii started hate myself a lot lorhh..duno wat happen tuh miie lerhh..recently ii so hot temper de..can get angry easily lorhh~aikss...make a lot of trouble tuh ppl around miie...haiz..it seems ii need tuh cool down myself andd think properly tuh myy own problems liaoO~

ii hope ii won't make ppl feel upset andd suffer again~

ii wil trying myy best tuh change myy bad attitude...

Happii 2 yrs&6 mths tuh euu...

if we are still longer...

todae will be a happy dae for us barhh~

but so bad..we can't celebrate together again...

anyway,thanks for urr present:-0

y'strdae had a small gathering wif myy OG frens andd buddies...
hmm..nothing special lorhh~can said hv a bit boring cause all of us duno where can go..iis realli no nice place for us lorhh~sianz!!!

duno y lerhh ii feel more strange wif myy buddy liaoO..hmm..duno maybe those words he had told miie last few daes andd cause it like tat barhh~ii felt tat he had left miie more andd more far liaoO...feel so upset..realli duno wat ii need andd think!!!

recently realli feel moody lorhh~

maybe ii realli think too much ady barhh...

hmm..so wish ii can left here ASAP lorhh...

suffer..vexed...

hmm..2dae ii wil take half dae leave again lorhh~

myy mum 2molo wil go bck hometown ady...tiz whole week ii din accompny her anymore lorhh~since jz now early morning she said she wants tuh go chinatown,so ii decided tuh take half dae off andd go 2gether wif her..firstly,ii scare she wil lost her way again..secondly,ii can take a break too...hahasss..always nth tuh do in office oso feel boring de lorhh~iis nearly year end oso liaoO..so ii must clear off myy leave too~

now ii going tuh settle andd finish all of myy paperworks first...suddenly myy boss past miie so mny documents andd a lot of complaints stil need miie tuh follow up larhh~haiz..so sianz...when ii din take off,always nth can do in office de...but when ii take off dae it wil mny things happen andd sure must a lot of paperworks de lorhh~~

hmm..nxt time jz blog liaoO..

ii stil left an hour tuh finish it...

blog 2molo lorhh..bye~ii wana enjoy myy weekend liaoO...

hapPi lurhh^^

myy ankle suddenly pain again lorhh~
duno y...since come bck frm holidae,ii stil tot tat iis ady fully recover liaoO..
cause a little bit pain oso dun hv...
but now iis almost 2 weeks jorhh~
da painess come bck again....
sigh!!!!

sianz...
had a bad headache since early morning~
duno y suddenly wil like tat lorhh...
maybe y'strdae catch a little bit rains barhh^^
andd make miie not feeling well now:-0
keep wana vomit de..myy head damn damn damn pain!!!
realli hope tat ii can knock off now....

*********************************************

y'trdae nite went tuh attend class as usual...
when ii on da way walked tuh sch,an unluckily things happen on miie..
sigh!!!recently da weather realli always changed de lorhh:-0
while stil had a short distance reached myy campus...
suddenly starting raining liaoO~
due tuh ii forgot bring umbrella,therefore ii just walk more fast...
hmm..realli bad luck lorhh...
maybe da road was slippery so make miie accidentally fell down lerhh..
wabiang..fell down stil doesn't matter lorhh cause din bleeding anymore..
but da suck things iis ii kena duno wat shit lorhh~sigh!!!
realli hate !!!so so so so shuai lerhh:-)
duno y those owner how tuh take k their pet de lorhh~
haiz...duno y recently all bad things happen on miie de lorhh:-0


sianz~~

at first,hapPi birthdae tuh myy colleague-- Chris...
hmm..older a year again liaoO,hope all of urr dreams wil come true yarhh^^all da best tuh euu in urr future..dun always gv stress tuh urself..sometimes a lot of things cannot force de..lets nature take its course barhh~take k orhh:-0

******************************************************
hmm..2dae myy collegue on leave ~ii m alone in office again andd seems so quiet lorhh wif onli miie around..haiz...realli kinda boring + lonely...but think positive way,ii am freedom 2dae~hahass..ii can like tuh do anythings ii want now...but so pissed off ii can't think wat ii want tuh do:-0

duno y tiz few daes myy feelings so mixed...

I'm left hanging in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no idea what will happen...what more can ii say again??!!ii realli duno...y suddenly wil turned like tat??wat's myy wrong??y last moment we stil so hapPi but tiz moment wil make miie so sad de??ii realli wana being crazy ady...

guess da onli way iis ii can onli drink myyself tuh sleep andd avoid tuh think so so much..ii wil trying not tuh act impeteously anymore...hurts...hate myyself!!!!

amazing world..

myy mum andd niece are coming here again~
so fast iis almost a mth again liaoO..evrytime saw them oso feel so hapPi..but sometimes feel headache lorhh especially myy niece!!!

anyway,she iis stil a small kid..sometimes duno wat iis true andd wat iis wrong lorhh~so evrytime she make miie angry ii oso vyy fast wil cool down again...hahass...even how ii scold her she oso duno de..

later wana accompny them go out shoPping liaoO~

myy tiz weekend was spent wif myy family ....

so fast anther weekend again liaoO~
haiz...stil hv three weeks..a new year wil coming soon lorhh:-0
feel so emptiness lerhh...
a brand new year wil be a brand of new start...
but can ii hv a new start??
hmm..ii realli duno..ii stil trying myy very best now~
anyway,hope tat a new year can help miie bring away those unhapPiness andd unlucky moments & things...

ii am feel better now ady...
tuh euu..realli thx for urr accompny for tiz whole mth orhh~
so appreaciate for all those things euu had done for miie:-0
so miss da trip we had 2gether last few daes...
realli hope tat we stil hv anther chance tuh go travel again ...await..

myy heart iis started tuh put down all ady...
andd had trying myy best tuh walk out of his world andd this relationship~
ii wil gv myyself anther chance...
without euu,ii stil can live hapPily~
ii belief 2molo wil be a better dae:-0

jz met him tuh settle some of our personal things...
hmm..since we had broke,once ii met wif him myy tears wil ãuto drop again...
ii learn tuh be strong...
but in front of him ii realli can't do it!!!
ii am failure...damn!!!!

after 2dae ,
ii noe we wil not meet anymore!!!
wat can ii do if ii realli miss euu so much??
ii can't control myself not tuh think of euu anymore...
as euu had left a realli deep memory in myy heart~
忘记你我真的做不到:-0

anyway,as urr wish..
ii wil try myy best...
ii wil move on myself tuh myy new life liaoO~
tat's da onli way can make myself stay hapPily...
andd forget euu asap...
ii wil live more hapPier den before:-)
wat ii had promise ii wil do it...
hope tat euu wil do urr best too~

damn tired 2dae lorhh...early morning when da alarm rang,myy eyes stil totally cannot open..wabiang...realli exhausted~five daes ady oso nvr sleep well andd totally not enough rest!!!

y'strdae reach home ard 11 pluss..after tidy up myy room andd washed all da dirty clothes was abt 2am pluss jorhh^^ slept ard 2.30am..andd woke up at 6.30am early morning..damn!!!super sleepy now~

as on leave so mny daes ady,so 2dae realli mny paperworks need tuh do lorhh...

busy like hell lorhh...sianz!!!

iis ady a mth we broke off...

in this period,ii realli can't live hapPily~

without euu..ii seems lost myy ways andd evrythings...

but ii am trying tuh stay hapPi andd cheers up myself:-0

ii wil trying tuh habit da daes without euu too..

ii wil doing wat ii had promise tuh euu..

ii wil be strong andd strength~

ii hope tat euu wil do urr best too...

our loves story had ady ended....

all just can be a sweet memory for us:-)

谢谢你曾经对我的爱~~

aiksss..damn tired again de lorhh:-0
y'strdae vyy late jz slept andd 2dae so so early woke up ady...
maybe feel so too hapPi liaoO barhh^^
make miie can't slept tight andd well de~

Hurray!!!later wana go tuh KL jorhh...
iis realli first time lorhh go travel wif myy buddy~~
hahasss...hope we can hapPily enjoy our trip orhh....
tiz travel we had planned since start of da year liaoO..
but until now almost end of year liaoO just complete it lorhh...
lol...no choice marhh...mny things had happen in this middle year~

ii wil try myy best tuh enjoy this trip...
all da things abt miie & him ii wil jz ignored it...
as myy fren said all was over ady...
think so much onli wil make ownself suffer andd vexed!!!
so ii wil work hard...
ii think after this trip...
ii wil hv myy new life liaoO~~

*for euu,iis realli impossible we wil patch 2gether liaoO...wat ii can say ii ady told euu clearly tat dae~iis realli pointless lorhh asked miie come bck besides euu.. so..ii hope euu can respect miie andd dun forced miie anymore!!!!ii wil gv up all da things of us...maybe ii am not da good one,ii realli not dare tuh c euu so suffer!!

Finally...
ii wait until tiz dae liaoO~
so hapPi 2molo wil be myy holidaes ady...
realli feel exhausted lorhh:-0
it seems iis da times tuh relax myself liaoO...
realli stress + vexed!!!!

hmm....
as usual ii dreamt of him again y'strdae~
iis almost a mth liaoO,he stil appeared in myy dream evry nite....
in da dream,we stil hold our hands shopping together...
take meals together...kiss andd hugs each others oso...
it's just like normal wat we always done!!!
at tat moment ii realli felt so sweet ....
cause ii jz like a small princess besides him ...
when ii woke up,
ii just discovered tat iis a sweet dream for miie onli..
realli felt some disappointed....
damn wish tat da dream can stay more longer...
ii realli miss him so much~~

ii noe ii should get over him ady...
but it's not easy tuh forget anythings lorhh...
as he had left such deeply andd sweet memories for miie~~
it takes times!!

anyway,ii wil work hard andd move on...
ii hope he can do his well andd all da best tuh him oso~
our memory ii wil bury in da bottom of myy heart forever:-0

* ii wil try tuh enjoy myself in this KL trip...
ii wil start myy new life while ii bck....

stil got another 2 daes,ii wil on leave andd have myy holidae liaoO~~
hmm..realli await da times can faster over lorhhh:-0
ii realli need a rest andd should go enjoy myself jorhh....
evrythings had over...had stopped!!!!
ii must move on myself andd not stil stay back at there liaoO:-)

**************************************************

tiz few daes keep planning myy holidaes...
realli 1st time lorhh~long time din hv tiz mood tuh go enjoy liaoO~
hmm...excited andd feel relax a bit liaoO lorhh:-0
so hope tat ii can enjoy myy trip tuh KL andd Genting at this time ...

hmm..duno y lorhh myy gastric suddenly pain again~
aikss..ii got take myy medicine andd meal lerhhh...y wil pain again siah??
realli super pain lorhh... feel suffer now:-0

ii hope tat now ii can knock off andd faster bck home take myy rest lorhh...

duno y recently those bad things keep hapPening on miie de worhh??HATE!!!!!where iis myy good luck siah??where iis myy future???

2dae nothing special in myy life~~

all as normal onli..working..finish work..after tat studying...

realli a boring life for miie now:-0

hmm..so hope tat ii can faster finish myy course soon~

like tat ii no need always worry abt myy study liao....